19.3.2010

i am so emotional today.
just because of a tiny little things and i cry.
i just dun like a life like this.
i need love and care from somebody.
my mum? my dad? or my brother?
i cant feel it.
i just feel like i was always alone.
he is going to perlis tonight.
although he is coming back by tomorrow, i miss him like hell.
i want to meet him.
but he refuses.
he wants me to study.
i dun have mood on that.
i hate who i am.
maybe i need to met a psychologist friend.
or GOD?
i am so tired.
i hate exam! i hate spm! i hate where i am and who i am.
everything is just not going well in my life.
i am a failure.
anything that will change this situation, i will do it no matter what.
i just hope to live in a better life.

8.3.2010

i am so sad at this very moment.
I hope that someone heard my voice.
But unluckily, there is no such person.
I am crying while writing this.
I called him and tried to talk to him.
But i could'nt say it out.
He is now playing bowling.
He din noticed that i am crying.
Or maybe he did and dunno what to say.
I am so disappointed.
I hope i could found someone who know me well and i can talk to.
But till now, this person haven appear in my life.
I am waiting......

~10.1.2010~

Yesterday was my birthday.
I din really feel like it is my birthday.
i went to Queensbay with my friend, but i went back earlier.
then my dad brought me to juru there choose sofa.
after a long time of consideration, we decided to buy one there.
my dad wanted to bring me to have Tao as my dinner at first.
but i refused it because i just ate sushi king at queensbay with my friend.
at last my parents decided to have our dinner at a restaurant named Jumbo.
I asked loon to join us.
he act so strange lately.
I became so damn moody because of him.
I am so scared of something.
but i dont really know what was it.
today i am so moody too.
wake up early in the morning and because of my breakfast i argued with my mum.
I cried a lot. I am so sad.
not just because of my mum but you.
i dunno what are you thinking lately.
I asked you but you dun wanna tell me.
you just cried at car in front of me.
and i could'nt help.
i was so sad.
I dun like this birthday at all.
if time goes back, i wan my birthday in another happy way.

~03.01.2010~

It`s 2010 already, time past really fast.
I haven prepared to study yet.
but i am looking forward to 2010 because i am going to get my driving license. muahaha.
school going to re-open tomorrow.
everything gonna change back to usual, isn`t it?
many things happen during this school holidays.
I hope those problem will disappear with year 2009.
i just get my hair cut.
It was so damn short, and i cant accept it!
that stupid hair stylist, he dun even know how to blow hair.
my lovely long hair become cacat thanks to him! LMAO.
I will never ever went there to have my hair cut again.
my friend who din get train before also much more better than him.
this will be my last time went to salon to cut hair.
I wont waste money to let them training anymore.
goodbye to my lovely long hair.
I will miss you so much.
my form 5 life is going to begin.
thats mean no more WORK = less MONEY = is time to KEEP FIT~~~
but I think my stomach wont let me do that.
It really enjoy during this holiday.
because it works non-stop. haha.

$$mOnEy$$

last saturday I worked for DiGi yellow attack.
the working time is from 9am-2pm and then 6.30pm-10.30pm.
we are free from 2pm-6.30pm.
we went to Queensbay Mall.
I went to meet my friends and my old colleagues.
they said i become very 'chan' and thin a lot.
they also ask why I work so hard?
actually they are not the only one who ask me that question.
even my mom also ask me that.
she still say I dun even have time to have dinner with them.
It`s already been a long time that I din have a proper talk with my family.
the only thing my mom talk to me everyday is-'when are you coming back?', 'please call back when you get my message.', 'today work at where?and what time till what time?'
we are always arguing on the phone. I dun like that.
except those, we really dun have anything else to talk with.
every day when I woke up, they already went out to work.
when I came back from work, they already went to bed.
For me, my house during this school holiday is just like a hotel.
I just went home when I need rest.
I, myself also dunno why I work so hard.
my colleagues also dun understand and always ask why I need so much money at this age?
I need it for what?
Last time i want it because I want to buy myself A hp and PSP.
but now I already owned a hp.
PSP i dun think I need it for now.
then what do I really want?
what is money meant for me?
I do LOVE money so much.
everyone who know me also know this fact.
but actually why do I need so much money for?
however, i LOVE my WORK so much.

~9.12.2009~

yesterday i did something wrong.
i am so sorry.
i dunno what should i do.
he says he is happy because I told him the truth.
but now he says want me give him time.
I am really so confuse.
help please.
I dont want to end this relationship.
we can make it, don`t we?
I am so moody now.
can you please just reply my message?
you dun wan to hear my phone also nevermind.
what I need is just to know what you are thinking.
and ensure that you are ok. please?
yesterday i heard that Gabriel passed away because of cancer.
suddenly I can feel that life is so short and we cant manage to control it.
everything is planned by the GOD.
today I am here, how about the next day? or the day after tomorrow?

7.12.2009

Finally I have time to sit in front of my computer and update my blog~
last few days busy working for PC fair.
I am so stress those few days.
my papas are expecting me will bring large amount of customer for them.
but i made them disappointed.
when they shooting me, i fell like crying.
I dunno why i will act like that.
maybe the PC fair i imagined was not there.
i was so moody on the first day and it brought 0 sales.
I really feels like crying and shout out loud.
but i cant.
2nd day, i was lucky because when i thought i will get 0 sales again, a customer pop out suddenly and signed up with me the home plus package.
3rd day not bad also, got 2 customer although they just signed up the home lite package with me.
overall i was so disappointed of myself.
I din expect the sales will so few.
i thought i can do more.
this few days I am so stress and confusing.
i dunno what should I do.
I can feel the distance between us.
maybe is my own problem.
but I really very confused.
suddenly i wan back my single life!